Lets Respond. Lets Live
We generally spend most of the time reacting to the things that happen around us. We react to the events without a second thought. We also react in situations where we do not have a control or say in it. We are not able to refrain ourselves from reacting. We are so spontaneous that we react in fraction of a second. If we sit back and think later we realize that our reaction was not the best course of our action. It creates unhappiness, makes the situation worse for us and the people around us. It creates a negative vibe, it creates an agitation in our mind, disturbs our peace and we get roughed up, we use unwanted words which hurt others. We also lose control over the situation when we react and we become a victim to the happening Do we really need this? The answer is a straight and simple NO.
Why do we react? It is our inability to accept the event which happened. It is our impatience and intolerance towards other things. We want everything our way, we react spontaneously when an event occurs in a way which we didn’t want it to happen. We express our inability to take in the disappointment by reacting.
What are the basic things which disturb us in our day to day life, if I have to say a few
• A crazy driver on the road who has taken a hasty turn in front of you or been honking for no reason or you are stuck in a traffic
• The food which doesn’t satisfy your taste buds which was prepared by your wife or mother
• When you are standing in a que and somebody tries to intrude
• When the food which you have ordered in a restaurant does not arrive in your table on time
• When your child breaks something
The list will go on and on. These are all simple day to day happenings to which we react and disturb our inner peace also create a rift between relationships. Now let’s think did we have a control on the outcome in any of the above said hypothetical situations, again the answer is NO. So it is our inability to accept the fact that we do not have any control or power in the outcome of the event. We need to understand and stop reacting to such situations.
So what can we do instead of reacting, let’s start responding.
What is the difference between reacting and responding? Reaction is spontaneous without any thought to it. Responding is a delayed reaction to any happening with conscious judgement and lateral thinking. The best thing about a response is the delay, the gap which we get, the time which lets our brain take control over our thoughts and we come up with a judgement. The pause is the key there, it enables us to calm down and let our senses function in a normal way. A thought process is involved in a response. We are always in control of the event when we respond.
So when we take time and act, it is not a hasty one. We will not regret, we will neither get disturbed nor disturb anyone else. It also has a lot of psychological and biological effects as well. A reaction shoots up our pressure and increases our pulse rate rather a response does not create any aftereffects.
Let’s consider an example, we see a pond, the water in it is so clear and transparent, now we stir the pond using an external force and the water becomes muddy. What will be our next step to get the clear water back, we just need to wait till the water settles down and we just need to give it time for it to get back to its original state. Similarly let’s give time to ourselves in all our day to day happenings and then act on it. Let’s not jump on every single thing and get ourselves into a muddy position where we are not stable.
The next big thing of HOW
How can we change ourselves from reaction mode to respond mode, unfortunately we human beings do not have settings like we have in cellphones to change the mode between Loud, Vibrate and silence.
Let’s stay calm, let’s give time, and let’s make it a point to think before we act. What will help us to get this into practice, few simple things
• Taking a deep breath
• Having a glass of water
• Closing our eyes
• Constantly telling ourselves of not to get angry over things which are not in our control
• Thinking about the consequences of hasty words.
“Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” ~Laurence J. Peter
I came up with this write up with a collection of thoughts from my personal experiences. I always used to react and end up in a mess. I’m in the process of learning to react and now Im sharing it to the world.
“Let’s Respond and not react”